We’ve probably all been there more or less, at that moment when you wonder if your boyfriend or girlfriend or your spouse is cheating. At least once in your lifetime you must have been jealous, some more and some less, some with reason and some with no reason at all. But it is human nature to doubt sometimes.
But there are serious matters when you are in a marriage, you still love your partner, but he/she has changed. You’ve noticed they are cold, they spend less time with you, suddenly become busy, they do not listen to you, they even get mysterious phone calls or messages, your sex life is barely present, you don’t share anymore, and they seem to avoid you as much as they can. And that’s the moment when you think what if … what if they are cheating. And the most maddening thing is that you don’t know, and you just live in an awful state of insecurity. There is always this big question: is he cheating?
The general opinion among those that have been cheated is that confronting your spouse directly is a big mistake. They will deny it categorically, and, furthermore, they will begin to be more attentive to what they do and take more precautions. Therefore, you will not get anything out of that conversation. So, the best thing is to try and catch the cheater. So, let’s see some suggestion on how to catch a cheating spouse.
Technology might seem your enemy at first. Mobile phones enable the user to speak whenever and wherever he wants with anyone he wants. The classic land line did not offer this possibility and so, it seems it might have been easier in the past to catch a cheating spouse. But, technology offers such a wide variety of possible ways to spy on someone. Of course, you can browse his phone while he sleeps or he’s showering, but you will have limited time and you should always be alert. You can buy a spy app and install on his phone and yours. It will send you everything he does on his phone: SMS, emails, phone calls, etc. You can also use a “find my phone” app that will show you his location.
Search the garbage and see if there are any receipts that are not justifiable. Check his coat and his pockets, and if you get a chance, even his briefcase and wallet. You might find signs like cards or receipts or matches from the places they went to or for the things he bought her. Get anything that seems or looks suspicious. Later, in your usual conversation with the cheater you can drop the name of a restaurant or bar or hotel for which you’ve found evidence he went to and see his reaction. This should be interesting.
Drop in, unannounced at lunch time at his office, “just to spend time together”. See if you disappoint him or someone else … When he says he’s working late, go by his office to bring him some food or just to bring him a cake. Invent an errand that takes a lot of time, give him the impression you are going to be away from home more then three hours and come back … after just one.
Hire a private investigator
This should be, probably, the last resort. If you are still convinced he is cheating, and you did not find any proof of any kind and you have some money lying around, you can hire a private investigator to follow your spouse. This is also a good idea, if your divorce would imply money issues (giving or taking from your part).
Nowadays to catch a cheating spouse has become much easier. We are always connected to our mobile phones that are smart, so sometimes smarter than the owner. We have the social media that shares information like nothing and without even noticing your photo in a bar with someone you should not be with is everywhere on Facebook. And know one thing: if he cheats once, he will always cheat, so don’t forgive, just forget.